It had been too long. Too long i take to look at myself and reflect. Too long.
This time i want to be frank and true to myself and to others. This time, i need to know who i really am. It's time, O Lord. This time you tell me...
In the nutshell, i am not that secure, not that confident, not that funny, not that that you see. In all, sometimes i really don't know who i am, what i think, or even what i have. (of course i mean, not the things i have in possession..afterall how long does it all last)
The talents that people think i have, i don't know how to use. The skills that i am worse at i am forced to put to use. for some reasons or another, i am losing myself...but yet not gaining in any way the likeness of Christ..
I am losing myself. Lost.
i not longer know how to smile like i used to. i no longer know how to talk to you like i used to. i no longer know how to be with people. i am confused.
Times when you listen to the laughter, yet not know how to laugh to it.
Times when have everyone around, but you don't know how to be part of the people. Awkward is the word.
I feel out of place. How weird.
Lord, would you hear me from Heaven? Tell me about myself.
For only my Potter knows, only You...
For only the Designer knows what the full use of what is designed.
(P.S.Some people who think that they know themselves the best. But the truth is they don't. The more you think you know yourself the more you don't know. For the people who truly know themselves, know how much they don't know about themselves. For they understood, that only One knows it all. From the count of strains of the hair on your head, from the amount of tears you cried to the sole reason you made like this, to the very purpose of your life..only One knows it all. Many thinks they know why they end up in drug, caught in illicit relationship or indulging in harming themselves. But the truth is they don't know.)
